Do we really need social media and today’s pace?

Information

Why do we need to want to know what is happening outside our line of vision, all the time? Why do we need so much information? Is it important that we, sitting at home, at work or with our families or friends, get updated information of whether Christiano Ronaldo got married or Lionel Messi’s father sadly passed away? How important is it to be up to speed with the political happenings in our country or abroad that we cannot wait to read it in the next day’s newspaper? Can we not wait for the weekly movie magazine to hear about the latest fashions of the various celebrities who have to keep pumping out information by the minute?

Do I really care if Hardik Pandya is negotiating with every IPL team to join them and make an ass of himself? How important is it for me to get immediate information on what Akash Chopra thinks of the injuries to Indian cricket players or if Irfan Pathan, Harbhajan Singh, Deep Dasgupta or any of the many former cricketers think of how our current Indian Captain Shubman Gill is captaining the team? Is it not enough if all this information comes out in weekly sports magazines, either in print or online?

How much of the information that we are getting every few minutes is really helping us in our day to day lives ( am not talking of stock brokers or their ilk or even those in capital markets)? A few years ago when my son in law asked me this question, I felt a bit offended. Now, I have begun to realise that we have lost the ability to wait and hear about what is happening outside our daily lives, in due course. We want immediate information. We scroll for minutes bon end reading inane stuff. No wonder we fear AI !

Privacy

Where has our privacy gone? Dammit, I end up making about ten people or members of a group read my Good Mornings every day. I can understand saying good morning when we see someone or when we call them ! Wishing them daily? Must be a pain in the arse for the ones I am inflicting my good mornings on. Should I just stop? If I do, will I upset anyone? I am caught in a bind. Do my friends or acquaintances really need to see random pictures that I find nice, sent to them daily or through bulk bombing? Where is the surprise when you see someone after a while and they have either lost or gained weight, lost hair or dyed it or even gotten a tan? Nowadays the conversation is – you looked so tired in yesterday’s picture whereas you looked all sprightly in the picture you sent at 10.30 pm the day before. We must smile always. Are we really feeling happy enough to justify that broad smile?

Why must I share my travel diary with everyone on Instagram or Facebook or whatever? Where is the need to show people what I am eating and where I am at various points in the day? Who gives anyone the right to barge in to my private space and videograph me, knowingly or otherwise? While a dashcam in a car helps identify violence perpetrated on car owners/ drivers by lumpen elements, do you need to video random things while driving around?

Work – Life balance

Largely, our office functioned with a policy – no calls or messages re work after 7.00 pm, unless it is an emergency. Similarly, no work related communication on weekends and holidays – unless it was very important to make contact. I stopped people from sending out emails to us post work hours. We spoke nicely requesting people to help us by allowing my team and me our free time and purposely delayed responding if the late evening emails continued for trivial matters. I even told a few clients – will you be okay if I do not answer in the right tone when you call me for an unimportant matter at 8.00 pm and I am a beer or two down? They stopped too. People need a break from work else they will be drained out and unable to have any enthusiasm. I have been guilty of an occasional break in calling a staff member after office hours and my family has called me out. However, these are exceptions.

Where does today’s young professional get time to enjoy himself/ herself when on holiday without worrying and getting distracted each time the mobile phone pings – showing a message or an email. How did work happen before instant messaging? Didn’t companies do well when they were functioning only during their regular work hours? Do we really need to be on the ball every waking minute? I do not know if I am being naïve but I do not believe that work takes precedence overall aspects of our life.

I miss

I miss the feeling of anticipation when the cycle bell rang and the postman delivered letters. Any kind of letter, either sent by a post card, an inland or in an envelope was something we looked forward to. Pen pals, letter writing, buying stamps and sticking them, saving stamps from letters we received – what an amazing part of our lives that has vanished. Chatting about various things from movies to ghosts to politics – while sitting around at the end of the day. Listening to what people had to say. Walking past tea shops in my village, when people loudly read out the newspaper and listeners commented over cups of tea. Discussions and gossip – all part of daily life while people sat at junctions – kavala or mukku – as we say in Malayalam.

There is no time to enjoy and savour the various things in life. We are in a rush – always. We cannot wait to share stories in person because we cannot live without social media. The Fear Of Missing Out ( FOMO) is an illness that can be added to the various mental stress issues that we have. Do we have the ability to slow down? Do we have the ability to get out of the social media race? Or, are we lost to this menace? Is this why we fear AI?

I use my phone, mainly to send receive messages on WhatsApp or make calls, watch YouTube for around Five and a half hours at the most to around Four hours minimum, every day. This has come down from when it was above six hours a day. I do not have a Facebook or Instagram account. I am on twitter and LinkedIn on my laptop only. I do not play games on my phone or my laptop. I used to read and finish at least two books a month – now it is about a book a month. I rarely do any outdoor activity – except light exercises watched over by a trainer, thrice a week. I want to meet people, get a life as free of social media as I can and do things that allow me to ruminate, be silent, enjoy the lack of up to date information and be free to be surprised. I want to see the change in people when I meet them in person, from the time I last saw them in person. I am fed up and tired of constant updates. As Freddie Mercury famously sang – I want to be free!!! Help!!!

Do me a favour – drop in unannounced. Why sit around punching the keypad? Heck, if we are not at home just pop over to a restaurant and have a coffee and a kadi and go home.

Asgard Thor aka Koshy Varghese