I spent five years studying in Kollam, Kerala. In the Kerala of that period, college union strikes gave us a lot of time to either be at home or hanging around outside college, with friends, in Kollam itself. Kollakadavou, is my home town – calling it a town in the late 70’s was indeed a stretch. https://kollakadavu.blogspot.com/2010/06/about-kollakadavu.html This is today. In Kollakadavou, my parents home was in Kadaikadu Muri . So, in the 70’s and early 80’s while I spent time with Mummy, there was very little that one did except talk to one another and a few relatives, neighbours and well wishers who lived nearby. The ++ above is a reference to her phrases!
Mummy was a tad under 5 feet. She was one tough nut. I do not think I have come across too many people who would have survived in the conditions she lived in, during the period I refer to. Don’t get me wrong – we had farm lands and some income from it. As always, farming could never be the sole source of income in Kerala if one had to live an upwardly mobile life. Daddy died on the 2nd of January 1978 – that was the first and last time I saw a weak and helpless side of my mother. Subsequently, my mother spent time getting things at home back to even keel and in the process geeing me up.
I would not have survived if my mother wasn’t the strong woman that she was, in those days. Sadly, sometimes strong people do go bitter as well. However, I will leave that analysis for another time. I loved her more than I can explain and I am glad she was there for me, when I needed her most.
I am sharing, part 2 of her Pazhanchollukal and more ( ++ – phrases) Note of caution – it’s my Malayalam – may jar with perfect Malayalam!
Here goes
A. Malannu kidannu thupparuthu – Don’t lie on your back and spit upwards:
The meaning of this is that if you lie on your back and spit upwards, the spit will fall on you. This is mainly used to describe what happens when we speak badly about members of our own family, to others. We think we are getting a sympathetic ear but that’s not what happens – we are merely spitting on ourselves as we cannot divorce the relationships that we are born with. It is better to just keep quiet and tackle issues behind closed doors.
B. Mula Oottunna vayasulla pillarilla enikku – ninakku jeevane pediyundangil, enikku undu – illengil, enikkuilla – I do not have any children of breast feeding age – if you are frightened of your life, I am, if not, I am not! (++ Phrase)
This was not a Pazhanchollu – this is part of a few phrases (++) she used over the years. In the early 1970’s when the communist movement against landed people was at it’s height my mother stood alone, in our house and argued with a bunch of communist leaders, who threatened to shake the whole of Alleppy district against her. The Panchayat president was seated there, at our house, mute as mute can be. Mummy’s father was there too but he sat and watched as his daughter proved more than capable of handling the issues involved. These were violent times especially for those living in isolated areas in the midst of nowhere. In fact, my mother, a neighbouring appachan and another couple of people who lived nearby had whistles. If anyone was getting attacked they were to whistle till the neighbours came to help.
C. Enikku thirichu ente ammayude vayattil pokaan okkathilla – oru vazhiye ollu – munpotu – Kallarayil ethunna vare – I cannot go back into my mothers womb again – there is only one way – that is the way forward, till I reach my grave. (++ Phrase)
She said this for the first time during the above referred arguments with communist leaders. She said this a few times afterwards. It wasn’t rhetoric – she meant every word of what she said. Once again – this is not a Pazhanchollu – just another of her phrases.
D. Muttathe Mullaykku manamilla – The jasmine that you grow at home doesn’t have any fragrance:
This is an oft repeated proverb where the person who is always around is never given importance when a new person, who visits only once in a while, comes over. Often, the visitor is praised to the skies and the person who is around is not given importance. Those of you who had NRI relatives who came home for the holidays will remember how the relatives were fawned over and the local at home, forgotten.
E. Alpan aishwaryam kittumbol ardharathriyil kudapidikkum – When a person of little value gets money, he will open his umbrella at night:
This speaks of a time when one only had black cloth umbrellas :-). Therefore, the meaning is that when a person who is of little value, monetarily, gets money, he will open his umbrella at mid night so that everyone can see his umbrella. Basically, a deriding statement on the actions of a show off.
F. Phalam kayikkumbol pazhathinte kolakkal thazhottu chayum – When a tree bears fruit, its fruit stalks bend down
Here Mummy always said that one must be humble when one tastes success. A fruit trees success is bearing fruit -that is when the fruit stalk bends down as does the fruit. So, one must also bend down and not get arrogant. Stay humble. This is one of the most important lessons I learnt from her. I wish I had practised it always, though. Arrogance does seep in.
G. Melpottu kerumbol kannunna aalukalodu eppozhum chirikannam, athe allukale thazhottu vannal nammal kannendi varum – Smile at people you pass when you climb up, it’s the same people you will see if you are going down.
The idea here is that one should smile at those you work with or deal with when you climb the ladder of success because you may have to see the same faces when you come down. If you treat people with grace while you are succeeding, they will treat you with grace if you fall from success.
Life takes you on meandering paths. It is important to remember where you started, mingle with those you see on the way, learn from mistakes, help those who need you to stop for them and remember, you are not a master of the next moment. I spent over four decades in Real Estate, one of the toughest and dirtiest sectors to work in. Yet, to date, I never flinched in front of bullies, thugs of different hues or backed down, except once !! I got up – that’s what is important.
Koshy Varghese aka Asgard Thor
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